How does one know they are ready for marriage?(tell me this picture doesn’t speak volumes?)
I was inspired to write about this after I read some silly article on Facebook about things to do instead of getting engaged http://wanderonwards.com/2013/12/30/23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/ ….
I didn’t think much about it until a lot of people started getting upset and saying they felt “sorry for this girl” and “she doesn’t know what true love is.” Which is probably correct in their opinion but in her opinion this is how she feels..so of course…I have a blog and I must share my opinion.
My opinion of things to do before you are 23…
Graduate high school
Go on a mission trip (I went to Kursk, Russia to work in an orphanage)
Go to college
Graduate college with a degree.. A REAL DEGREE…if you have to ask what I mean by a ‘REAL’ degree.. you probably have one of those ‘REAL’ degrees.
Get tattoos (I have 6..soon to be 7)
Give everyone a chance (friend wise, romantic wise etc)
Start paying student loans
Start to become financially stable
Figure out where you stand in your religion or beliefs
Stop giving a fuck about making everyone like you
Be awkward and weird in front of people you don’t know
Be awkward and weird in front of people you know
Read… Read any and every book you can
Read all the Harry Potter books
Slap anyone who doesn’t like Harry Potter
Travel…only if you can afford it. –That Spring Break sure was fun… enjoy bouncing checks and over drawing for the next month.
Save money so you can travel and you can afford those things that you don’t need
Get a cat
Fall in love
After falling in love…real, raw, happy love… marry them.
Okay…so thats not really a list to do before 23, but it’s a more logical list & not so free-spirited
I married Adam after six years of being together…we were on and off three times but not for more than a two months at a time. During those times, he played video games & drank, and I saw other people & cried…sometimes in front of those people that I was seeing. When I was with Adam, it was unselfish, hilarious, heart stopping love. We grew as a couple from being 17-23 (getting engaged at 24). Another post can get into the nitty gritty love life we had but this is about how I knew I was ready to marry him.
OH MY GAWD WHAT?
I didn’t know if I was ready for ‘MARRIAGE’ but I knew I was ready to be with him for the rest of my life…it was all I ever wanted. He didn’t spoil me with gifts, money, clothes, trips, etc… He was my best friend. He was real. He never used a cheesy line on me, tried to hit on me, or tried to buy my love. Basically, he wasn’t a tool. <– haha but really.
Almost 4 months into our marriage I’m still not ready for ‘MARRIAGE’ because I don’t want to grow up somedays. I don’t want to iron his fucking shirts or prepare supper every night (he’s eating 4 day old taco meat right now as I sit on my ass) I don’t want to start writing ‘From Adam & Brittany’ on wedding cards, Christmas cards..you know that cute couple stuff. I don’t want to be responsible somedays and go to work and be a team. Sometimes I’m very selfish and I just go lay upstairs in our beautiful king bed and give him the silent treatment…because I can. And I’m a bitch.
So why did I get married? Because he is my best friend. I want to have sex with my best friend whenever I want to..and have kids with him and figure out what our purpose in life is together. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man that after 6 years, I couldn’t shake out of my radar and I want to spend every day wondering what exactly it is about him that makes me excited to give him hugs every morning and fight with only to apologize to and then fight about the same thing in another week. I married Adam because we forgive each other. We don’t judge each other. (sometimes I have to shave his back…but it’s okay..we are married). You marry a man that you would be happy to have as a son. Adam saves me everyday from being a terrible person that somedays I can become. If you could see us together, you would understand that he is the glue that holds us together. & I’m that glitter that sticks to the glue (<— Like I said in previous posts..im seriously so funny)
I just asked Adam why he married me…he said “you can’t just put me on the spot like that..I can’t win…You can’t put it into words why I married you…THERE YOU GO!! YOU CAN’T PUT IT INTO WORDS! Gosh, I’m so smart”… So theres that people.
So my ranting on this post is… You can do whatever it is that you want before you are 23, 24, 45, 89… but never let something you want to do fly out the window because you are engaged, married, or have kids…that’s irrelevant.. if you truly married the man of your dreams and the right one for you..that man will either
a) accomplish/do those things with you
b) understand that you want to accomplish some of those things yourself & give you space
c) Watch you accomplish all those things & then embark on new things & new goals together.
So good for you girlfriend who thinks being engaged is a terrible thing before 23 because actually I think not being loved is a terrible thing.